I vividly remember, it was in December 2004 and that  was a very special day of my life.  I had received a note from the daycare center of my daughter in Tokyo who was then seven years old. It was about celebrating Father’s Day in her kindergarten class.

The plan was to have all the fathers come to the daycare to the spend afternoon with their children reflecting what mothers do on a regular basis and share a snack with their child.

That day I was at work and had to attend meetings till 3 pm. Luckily I had already received special permission from my boss that I could leave the office every day at 4.30 pm to pick up my daughter from the daycare.

I didn’t want to make another request to leave earlier than that. As a mother, originally hailing from Nepal I was also a bit hesitant and unsure of what will be my daughter’s reaction, when she sees me in the daycare. Will she be happy or sad? Will it remind her of not having a father, who was Japanese and was not living with us these days. I was also not sure as to how I myself would feel in a room full of men with their children to celebrate the Mother’s Day.

I thought about this and decided no matter, it would be best if I showed up at the daycare center as her mother even on a Mother’s Day . I left the office anxiously and in a great hurry to reach on time.  Of course, the murphy’s law usually works at the most crucial times. This was the day when the traffic was also uncooperative, and I was stuck on the road for quite some time. I finally reached the daycare center late and some of the fathers had already started to leave.

I met the principal in the lobby, and she told me that my daughter was feeling very sad and was also crying. As I entered the room, I saw her with tears rolling down her cheeks sitting with her arms crossed and was also visibly angry. There was a paper plate on her table with a slice of half banana, a cookie and a cup of tea, not the type of goodies she would really crave for. She was eagerly waiting for me to come.

As soon as she saw me, she came running and hugged me as if she was meeting me after a long time. That very moment, her gloomy mood changed in a few seconds and her usual smile was flashing back on her face. I sat down with her and shared the  cup of Mugi chyaa,  piece of banana and  Osembei  along with the those precious mother-child moments on that Mother’s  Day.  In fact, we chatted as usual, made faces at each other, giggled and enjoyed our daddy cum mummy time for few minutes.

I learned a lasting and a very important  lesson that day. I figured it was perfectly alright to be a mother and a father in the room that only had fathers with their children. It didn’t matter to my daughter if I was a male or a female. She just saw me as her parent and her caregiver.

My presence was more important than my gender and her affection was not based on the importance of the day, but it was based on the feeling that she also had a loving parent like anyone else. My daughter is already a graduate now as we continue to celebrate Mother’s Day with the same enthusiasm and spirt!

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Grishma Poudyal 

Asst. lecturer In Daigaku International Language Academy, since 1999 August.